Grief is a Grizzly Bear

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April 26
While I started yesterday with my tambourine, I should have packed it in my car when I headed to a nearby city to help set up for a baby shower at the home of my precious friend, Kaye, who is now hanging out with Jesus.  Her daughter had a C-section to bring Baby Maxwell into this world.  My girlfriend and I had spoken about having a shower for her daughter and grandson after he was born.  With Kaye no longer here, a team assembled to carry out the plan...her mother, her husband, her sister in law, her cousin and me.  Yesterday, three of us met to go over final details and we went by the house to begin setting up.  Heading into Kaye's bedroom with her mother, she showed me an angel she had placed on the box with Kaye's ashes.  To the left of the box was a yellow frame, with the word "FRIENDS" inscribed and a picture of the two of us.  The same picture sits in my bedroom.  That was the beginning of the grizzle bear grabbing me and tearing my heart apart.  Displayed prominently throughout the house were little gifts or notes I had given my friend.
Puzzled I wondered why I had never noticed this over the years.  I guess I was always going to see my friend, share her heart and not inspect her home. The depth of the hurt was devastating, but I didn't want to let on in front of her mother who longs desperately to be in the presence of her daughter.
Returning home, I placed my head on my kitchen counter and sobbed. Crying out to the Lord I said, "I don't think I realized how much she loved me, Father.  I miss her friendship so much."
"I love you, my child," the Fatherly whisper came.
Then the lesson set in...obviously it gave me great joy to give gifts/notes to my friend.  How often do I write notes to the Lord expressing my love?  Do I get the same joy when I give my tithe and other gifts to Him for his kingdom?

The sun may have set, but the Lord was still working when I crawled into bed and opened my email.  There in the inbox was an email from one of Kaye's daughters. It also went to Kaye's mother.
Check this out!  God is always at work and pouring his love out upon us.

During my quiet time I got these verses of scripture. Really good yet again. Praying it meets you all where you are at. Praying for you each daily. Love you all!
Lamentations 3:20-25 (NLT)

I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him." The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. 
Love you bunches and miss you all.


The Grizzle Bear of Grief got grounded and sent packing!  The Word of God is alive and sharper than any two edged sword!  Makes me want to shake my tambourine!


 Kaye and my husband.
 Ruby, Kaye, Boo & Helen (Kaye's mom)
Kaye's daughter, Blaire (who emailed) and her husband.

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