"Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord." Proverbs 16:20
I have always had this glimmering idea of success, that one day I would finally achieve my goals and be handed a big fat platter of happiness and satisfaction, never to suffer or strive again. Each goal would come and pass and the same feeling of emptiness would ensue, resulting in the next goal set.
This cycle is quite possibly the most confusing and frustrating portion of each intricate human experience...mine anyway. We climb these mountains again and again only to get to the top to find the same thing that was at the top of the last one... crickets. What gives?
The moment this cycle ended for me was the moment when I fell to my knees and accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my savior. The moment I made this fierce declaration is the same moment that I was able to open my Bible and hear God speaking directly to me. The words on the pages seemed to make sense and every sermon in church delivered to me a personalized message, straight from my Father.
My eyes and ears had finally been opened to receive the love and instruction that God promises to us all.
My only question was this: Why had He waited for so long to come to me? Why is He here now and not before when I was selfish, ungrateful, and seeking false gods? Where was He when I was tempted and broken so many times? Why now? I don't have all of the answers and my Faith is immature and far from perfect, but I do have the answer to this question.
He was always there, waiting for me to accept Him; planting his message into my life with the people I met, the words that I read, and the things that I experienced. I look back in my journal and find scripture that I had written down before I had ever opened a Bible and I have memories of prayers being answered before I really even knew I was praying.
I firmly believe that it is in our nature to seek our Father just as a cow's nature is to eat grass. I would be willing to bet that there isn't a single person in this world who hasn't lifted their head to the sky seeking comfort and relief in a moment of sorrow. If you've ever kneeled down into a position of prayer then you know that there comes something serene and powerful above anything explainable, a feeling of being home.
This feeling is magnified when you learn to relinquish more and more control of your life and finally hand over the keys to the one who truly holds the wheel. You see, the key is acceptance. Accepting that your life is designed for God's purpose and not your own.
It doesn't stop when you accept Christ as your savior, either. Acceptance means going out on a limb and fully sacrificing your life for your destiny. It means leaving the comfortable and stepping into the wilderness. It means letting go of old ways in order to grow into the life you're being molded for. It means releasing the past and not worrying about the future. Acceptance means being present.
So now I have entered into a new cycle and with a new cycle comes new obstacles and a new opportunity to learn and share the lessons that are being whispered into my ear. I wish that I could tell you that the road gets easier, it does not. It doesn't get easier but the struggles suddenly have a higher purpose, and along with the struggles comes a book of wonderful promises. Promises of wisdom, endurance, hope, and life.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11