Fine Tuning
December 10
Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don't drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. You need firsthand evidence, not mere hearsay, that Jesus Christ is in you. Test it out. 2 Corinthians 13:5 9 (MSG)
"Stop messing with me," was the flash thought I lifted up to the Lord after a little lack of immediate obedience from me yesterday. Just as quickly as those thoughts from emotional exhaustion came to me, so did the words I've often heard my coach husband say to players. "You should be glad I am on your case, because when a coach stops getting on you that means he has given up on you." I figure as long as the Lord keeps disciplining us He has a purpose for us!
The entanglement began as I sat in the examination room of a doctor's office yesterday. While waiting for the doctor to come in I took the time to quiet myself and pray. That's when the unexpected occurred. The Lord said, "Ask the doctor what God has taught her this past year." "Could I just get her email and do it that way?" I inquired. She entered and began looking over my chart. Interrupting her, I stated there was something I needed to do before she went any futher. With knees practically knocking and tears coming to my eyes, I began with excuses...not quite the effect the Lord had intended..but I didn't know this woman well and was nervous. "God has put on my heart to ask you what you have learned from him this past year." Instantaneously I explained that this really was probably just a test of my obedience and she didn't have to answer. (Further flub and lack of trust.) While I was still babbling, she was very moved by the question and began to explain it had been a banner year for she and the Lord. I sat listening while she shared she has come to realize that her worth is not in who she is as mother, a wife, even a doctor, but in who she is as God's daughter. A WOW moment occurred.
Driving home I was so embarrassed I hadn't trusted the Lord with what He was up to. Confessing my short comings to Him (I also had a little fib from the day before which had been told trying to protect the feelings of someone, but it could have gone without being said) God explained more about the necessity of this process for me. "I can't take you where I want you to go next, until we fine tune your obedience in situations like today." What's next? I have no clue, but I obviously have to look a lot more like Jesus to get there.
Let's turn what John Lloyd Ogilvie has written so eloquently into our prayer for today...
"Oh God, I am fully accountable to You. Remind me that when I speak or make a commitment, Your name is at stake as well as mine. Help me to take my intentions and vows seriously, and to make them cautiously. And when I move to fulfill what I have committed to do, may I do it not in my human frailty, but in Your divine power." In Jesus' Name, Amen