Our Father

My father, son and grandson's hands the day he died.

April 29

Today would have been my father's 94th birthday.  I think I will make his favorite coconut cake and lemon ice box pie and eat them both!  I thought I was doing pretty well with the idea of him celebrating this birthday in heaven, until my Bible Study buddies closed out our time together yesterday, holding hands and saying the Lord's prayer.  As soon as we said, "Our Father, which art in heaven,"  I lost it.  For my earthly father, art in heaven with my heavenly father.

Originally, I'd asked a friend who just lost her father if she'd like to get away for the day, but she had a previous invitation.  What I decided to do next was to think about the things I miss most about Daddy and allow God to fill the void.  That sounded great and spiritually mature, until I got to what I desired most.  His touch. The way he held my hand, touched my forehead, kissed my check, and put his hand on my knee when we were sitting on the couch together was what I realized I long for.

After my mother died, which was 14 years ago, I quickly realized how much Daddy missed her touch. When friends or family would go with me to visit, I always said, "Be sure to hug him. He misses my mother's touch."

Ok, to be honest and not saintly strong, I'm sobbing now.  The thing I want most I can't have, so what do I do with that? I've got Daddy's night shirt curled up against me and wish he and our old bulldog, Moses would just come through the door. My mind is flooding with the names of friends who have recently lost their spouses. I can't fathom the ache of not having my man next to me at night and I think of how my father endured 14 years without his wife.
So grief has jumped up and bitten me again.  My comfort rests in knowing God created our hearts for this experience.  He allowed Jesus to grieve as well.  God knows exactly how I feel.
We are having horrendous storms and tornado warnings are expected.  As my husband was leaving for work I told him, "It's ok if my Daddy sends for me in a funnel cloud!  It would be a quick way to be zapped up to heaven and be with him again."
We do need to pray for the safety of people in these storms raging across our country and also for anyone who does not know "Our Father, who art in heaven."