No Heartbeat

We find comfort in knowing that this grandchild we will not hold here on this earth is being loved on not only by Jesus, but by his/her great grandparents.
March 18
Oh, Lord, I cant sleep and my mind is searching for the scriptures of assurance that this rawness of pain will subside. Does the verse exclaim that you will turn our mourning into joy?   You turned my wailing into dancing, you removed my sackcloth and clothes me with joy.  Psalm 30:11
There are these things in life we cannot fix Lord and the only place we can run is to your arms.  For the past hour I've tossed in my bed, wishing I was in another city alongside my daughter, who learned yesterday at her 10 week sonogram that her baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at 6 weeks.  Joy has been snuffed out and a cruel game of waiting to miscarry has begun.
Where we had been waiting in joy for the births of four grandchildren, now our hearts mourn the loss of one we will never know this side of heaven.
This loss was experienced four years ago when one of our daughter in laws lost her baby, while visiting here. It is a horrific pain.
Oh Father, we trust in your sovereignty.
A few hours later one of our sons (there are 5 of them) emailed needing prayer for his son, wife and unborn daughter.  Our grandson has been diagnosed with Fifths disease, which he will recover from, but the doctor explained it can be extremely dangerous for babies in utero and in rare cases cause the baby to be born stillborn.  So those two precious parents must wait for lab results to see if our daughter in law is immune to this disease.
Oh Father, we know you love these little ones more than we are even capable of loving them.

Today we rejoice with my husband, who celebrates his 60th birthday, and another son who shares this birthdate and turns 30th.  I've chosen to forego The Bait of Satan study today and just cling to Jesus.

Yesterday, our daughter started her day reading Jesus Calling.  "No detail of your life is hidden from Me. I view you through eyes of grace, so don't be afraid of My intimate awareness.  Allow the Light of My healing Presence to shine into the deepest recesses of your being-cleansing, healing, refreshing, and renewing you. I will never leave you or forsake you. When no one else seems to understand you, simply draw closer to Me. Rejoice in the One who understands you completely and loves you perfectly."

God knew when Sarah Young wrote those words for March 17th that our daughter would be reading those in her grief and despair.

God's provision gets even better.  In a study group on spiritual discipline, which met 30 minutes after I got off the phone with our daughter, the women gathered around praying and weeping with me.  My study assignment for this week was to meditate on a verse of Scripture, be attentive to what God wants to tell me and turn the verse into a prayer.  I decided to read the verses on the Jesus Calling entry for the 17th.  My husband handed me a Bible off the shelf, which I had never used. The Grandmother's Bible. Not only did it have incredibly applicable devotionals for what I was experiencing, it also had a couple prayers written up from the passages. My assignment was done for me, which was greatly appreciated in my state of grief.

May these verses testify to God's unfailing love and the reality that He knows every beat of our hearts from the first one, until the last one before He calls us home.

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before the word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.   Psalm 139:1-4

Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit guaranteeing what it to come. 
2 Corinthians 1:21-22
This verse led me to read 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
The aside devotional stated: "God is always willing to renew and revive us with the comfort of his loving presence, filling us up again so that we can comfort others. We can't rely on our own resources as we give out comfort to our friends, our children, our grandchildren, we will only run dry and be overwhelmed by their need. Instead we are to turn to God. He's the only One with an overflowing supply."  
Then right there on the page was this format for prayer and I inserted our daughter's name.
"I praise you, God and Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all comfort.  Comfort our daughter in all her trouble so that she can comfort those in any trouble, with the comfort she herself received from you.

The last verse suggested for yesterday was Joshua 1:5 As I  was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will neither leave you nor forsake you.
And the prayer: "Lord, help our daughter to be strong and courageous. Help her to not be terrified or discouraged, but to remember that you, the Lord her God will be there with her where she goes.

If we seek the Lord, we will find Him and he will supply our every need.
Love to each of you this day.